Flash Backs and Memories
It is funny how the mind works and how a smell, a song, a photo can bring back a throng of emotion. It was Saturday, and Rena and I were walking through downtown, passing a hotel where we had all stayed as a family. Rena’s mom and dad, my mom, and the two of us had been here as a family. Now there was just the two of us, and only three of us remained here on earth.
The hotel has since been renovated, and the only remnant is a wall placard on the hotel entrance that shows the original name of the hotel. Funny, they left the bench and the sconces exactly as they were, but the art behind the bench is not the same.
I never intended to open this door to these memories, but here I was, sitting on this bench alone, posing for a picture. It seems surreal that people can leave this place – that the things they owned, the letters they wrote, the journals they kept remain. My brother called me last night to say he was cleaning out my mom’s house and that my uncle has now sold the property. My brother was really struggling with the distribution of our mom’s possessions. Every little thing is hard to give away – even to family. Trust me, I had my share of this emotion in January when I was packing up my possessions from my mom’s home – boxes filled with child hood memories, letters to my mom, and all sorts of random and sentimental possessions and photographs.
It has now been just shy of seven months. Time seems to have flown by; then again, it doesn’t seem to move. Seven months seems like an eternity since we were together in the hospital. I watched the video that I took of her in the hospital bed, capturing moments of listless conversation and sleep. It seems like a sick dream…
There is something cathartic to sharing this with all of you - some random strangers who do not know me, some friends, some family. And here, in my BLOG, my mind’s eye – the deep and personal thoughts of my life, shared in my own words and unedited for you to read. I continue to walk this road, one foot in front of the other.