A Narrative…
Seat 26A. I want a cigarette and the irony is that I don’t even smoke!
I am prepared to open this door in the event of an emergency. I am over the age of 15. This is actually my first trip aboard a vehicle I have never seen. What a beautiful beast it is. These “wings”, as they call them, are massive. I am making use of a device that hugs “snuggly” across my hips. Miss, what is this wonderful technology, and how exactly do I release this buckle? We hurl down the long stretch of concrete at a velocity the drives me back against my seat. 630 Mph I am told. It too amazes me that my seat, crushing against me at an unnatural 90 degree angle will save my life (leveraging the nylon technology across my waist) only when in the upright position. Wow, this company really cares about me. All of this safety and a half bottle of Dasani. What more can a person ask for…
An hour late, hungry, tired, and seriously bored. Thanks be to God for the gift of music, and thanks be to the Germans for the Bose Corporation. Their Quiet Comfort Headphones make the world seem a million miles away.
Sheryl Crow is playing and I am here with you, on my flight to Austin.
I am heading back to the mother ship to get educated. Dell does a great job educating their people. I have been to more technical and management training than ANY company I have worked for in the past 10 years.
So I just got the call last week, a full five months ahead of time. The “all family” Christmas, planned for this year was aborted. Half of the folks just cancelled. It’s too bad really, but it was fully expected. Some of the folks are coming, and that is the great news. We have a lot of newly-weds in the family now, new babies, and some other rough circumstances that makes traveling for some of the folks very tough. I totally understand. Still, it makes me sad. Many of them have never been here to DC, it would have been great to see them on our turf.
This BLOG is like a stream of consciousness writing tonight. Blue Rodeo’s Montreal just came into my head. I immediately had flashbacks to Bishop’s University. I made some great friends there. Dan Forfellow & Matthew Hamilton (ROOMIES!!!), Paul Hudon, Dave Eilers, Joanne Jaques, Michelle Hall, Simone Davies, Tara Steele, Paul Hawco (recently died of cancer), Mike Eliadis, and I could go on and on… Maybe they too will Google me, find the BLOG and say hello again.
Going back to the idea of a stream of consciousness writing… You should try it. The process is crazy but therapeutic. You begin by picking up a pen and paper and begin writing whatever comes to your mind, non-stop. You write without punctuation, form, or care of spelling. I found this technique to be extremely healing. I would use this tool in ten minute increments. I review the writing, circling themes, writing notes in the margin, and generally meditating on its content. It is unbelievable to read and reflect on the ideas that flow from your uncensored hands.
As I sit on this flight, I am reminded that my cousin is leaving Wednesday while I am in Austin. It is a bitter sweet day. Good, because it has been three months, and that is a long time for ANYONE to be around me. Bitter, because he is a good kid with a very sensitive spirit and he will be missed. I had frequent flashbacks during his visit to my 20’s. I often reflected on the ideas that shaped my world view, the philosophies and motivations that drove my external actions with people and circumstances. I was often a selfish prick! Our actions result in an equal and opposite reaction. Simply, you reap what you sow!
I am one serious hard-ass! I know that about myself. Trust me, so do all of my friends and family. I expected the same things from my cousin. Work will set you free, own your experience, grow up, be a man, take care of things people entrust to you, pull your own weight, be accountable, show gratitude often, say thank you, love much and often, apologize first, give away more than you take. I think these clichés” encapsulate my belief system. I am not perfect, trust me, no one knows this more than me, but there has to be an expectation of greatness. Without this expectation, life breeds mediocrity. I hate losing, being second, conceding the fight. Confrontation is NOT a negative word! Without confrontation there is no intimacy. And without intimacy what do we have? I suppose that is why I have very few intimate friendships. I need authenticate people in my life and I need to reciprocate with my authenticity. This diatribe started with thoughts of my cousin. I hope he goes away feeling the authenticate love that Rena and I have for him. Being a real man is a hard job. Growing can be painful. Long hours and stress force a breaking in our life. Last time I checked, people usually grow the most in times of pain. Embrace the pain…
D
August 7th, 2006 at 1:40 am
This has been a learning experience …and learning is no doubt painful . I don’t think I have ever been so emotional or so proud of myself. I did so much here. I learned more about myself this summer than I had in the past 2 years, and it was all thanks to the opportunity that Dallas and Rena gave me. This experience has certainly accelerated my growth which I know will benefit my career and life in general. Thank you both so much again,
with the deepest sincerity and love.
Your cus,
Josh
August 7th, 2006 at 8:09 am
WOW Dallas, you are in great spirits this evening
I too am a Canadian who lives in the USA (new hampshire). I am from New Brunswick, but served in the Canadian Army. I was posted to Edmonton as well as CFMETR in Vancouver Island - that was a nice posting 
)
Like the top floor of one of the finest eating establishments in NYC!!!
You went deeper then my priest did yesterday at the Alter!
I will meet up with you in Austin, delayed flight got me caught in Ohio, so I will be late for tech summit
For all those who do not know me (which is everyone but Dallas
I work at DELL (or should I say that I am moving along) and had the pleasure to meet Mr Dallas Nash at a training course in New York City. I have been there many many many times, but Dallas showed me the finer qualities of the city - Places I never thought I would go to
We clicked and had a great walk around mid town. He gave me some great advice (I hear you Josh) and I told him of my current situation. He was fair and balanced in his opinions (very Canadian eh?) - I have been at DELL for 6 1/2 years and I need to move along to a smaller firm to get different experiences, anyway, enough about that.
I must say that I have enjoyed reading this blog - In fact it is the only one that I read
Time is something that I am short of since having a child
McGill or Bishops is cheaper then Boston U 
)
I am married to a great Irish Canadian Girl from New Brunswick Kimberly Graham and we have one lad, Malcolm Alexander Graham - He is a true Yank - born in our town of Peterborough New Hampshire - Of course, like any good Canadian Expat, he has dual passports
We are having a great time living in New England, in fact New Hampshire is very close to the values of New Brunswick except for better taxes (none) and gun laws in the US
Well gotta catch my bird, I have the hip playing on the MP3 player
Let us pray for our brothers and sisters in harms way oversea’s and bless them for there service - with out them, I would not be boarding a plane safely! God Bless
Cheers
Jim Graham
August 9th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Hey Dallas, I loved your last entry, since it contained a lot of where your heart is. I l feel honored that you share your heart . I took a class on journalling and found that process of writing what ever came to mind incredibly insightful and thought provoking. We all continue to grow and stretch in various ways. this summer I have gained a new appreciation for my health. I had another periodontal surgery on July 27 and it took the wind right out of my sagging 51 year old sails! However, It has given me time to reflect on where I am at with God. Enlarging my vision. Daring to dream again. Erica and I have had some enlightening conversatons this summer. She is in what she calls”en medias riz” which means ” in the middle.” She is frustrated because it feels kind of stagnant, but I have learned that most of life happens on the way to doing what you were planning to do. Suddenly, a fork appears in the road and even unkowingly shapes your destiny for many more years to come. It is interesting to sit back and watch her grow through the process. And even more interesting for me to learn to let go, again and again and again. I cannot control the outcome of any more things in my children’s lives like when they were babies, toddlers. school aged children. It is a rather freeing place to be. I have learned throughout the month of July’s blogging activity, that I had passion and angst which was sitting dormnat, until I read and thought about other’s opinions on education, health care, politics etc.I also learned that my comments would be seen by many and that got a little scary. Confrontation is not a negative word to me. However, It can have some nasty conotations to others. I like to know where I stand with people and that means I like to put my whole self out there. the funny thing about that is that it does scare others and they often choose to act defensively even if I use the most neutral words ( which I did not do on commenting on your cousin’s blog) It is interesting to sit back and watch people react while living and breathing in the experience of their past.
We missed you and Rena like crazy at the last Nash reunion on the island. I am still replaying the many wonderful moments in slow motion in my mind and thanking God for the many precious memories that were made. The Nash family are a unique bunch! We had a lot of laughs and some tears too.
I too join you in praying for our brothers and sisters in ‘war’ zones they are in ! It is wonderful for you to acknowledge that they are unselfishly fighting for the freedom and safety we enjoy in our daily lives. We are so blessed! And may God bless them all with courage and zeal and His mighty wisdom and grace. Love to you! Hugs too! Mare
September 28th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Dallas,
Was actually thinking about #96 the other week during the start of the CIS Football season.
I see you are doing well, take it easy bro….
Mike.