I am on the flight home returning from a long holiday weekend in Phoenix with one of my best friends and his brothers. As always, it was great seeing him. We grew up together, went to high school together, played high school and college football together. We have shared almost everything possible experience together. We have laughed together, cried together, got stupid together, and buried close friends and family together. We have shared weddings, successes, failures and everything in between.

I picked him up at the airport in Phoenix and saw his brothers for the first time in ten years. They looked the same as I remember, just older, balder, and chubbier. I can only imagine the feeling was very mutual.

I sat in the car just watching their excitement build over the anticipated weekend. I was also enjoying their interaction as brothers. The simple, unvocal, testosterone driven feelings that only brothers can share. I felt at home again.

It was just yesterday that my brother and I, after a year long separation, not just in time and space, but in emotion, were reunited. Like my best friend and his brothers, there is no man on the face of the Earth that knows or understands me like my own brother. Our two families had a falling out a little over two years ago. Since then, our time together, our conversations, and general interaction have been almost nonexistent. It amazes me that I am writing this here, in this space, sharing these very personal experiences with you, whoever you are.

My brother spoke to me in a soft and intimate manner. We rarely experience these types of moments, given that we are men first, then brothers… Men in my family typically speak about sports, beer, travel and other such things.

He then shared with me his desire to build back his relationships. To rebuild relationships that he cares about and wants to restore. He made mention of me first. We spoke at length about the trivial, ridiculous and divisive matters that had some how come between us. We were once as close as brothers could be. He and my sister-in-law were there for me in my darkest times. They were the shoulder I had to laugh and cry on. And then he spoke about losing me. Not in relational terms, but in Death. He actually said those words. My mind immediately raced back to the funeral of my best friend’s brother (the one I was with Phoenix). God; what an awful time and place.

We both agreed that we loved and missed each other more than any stupid and divisive spat. We shared our true feelings and our apologies.

I had the same conversation with my sister-in-law, and was so relieved at how humble and contrite she was. I offered the same in return. We took turns sharing our hurt and our apologies. It was a beautiful time of healing and restoration.

But the best was yet to come…
I spent some wonderful quality time with my nephew and nieces. My heart broke and melted all at once. What beautiful children they are. On the last day of my trip, I went to their home and knocked on the door. My nephew, the animal, came running to the door jumping up and down and yelling, UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!!! He then tried to open the front door but could not. He was too small. What a precious moment. I was welcomed by my sister-in-law with my little niece in arms. She is our Baby New-Year! All smiles, ears and teeth. I was able to watch them while my sister-in-law went to pick up my oldest niece from school. I went running from room to room after the animal. I was making sure he did not set any more fires, beat any more TV’s with baseball bats or get himself into anymore trouble while we were alone. And following close behind was Baby New Year. She would scamper from room to room in hot pursuit of the action. She did not want to be alone. She loved being held in my arms, and constantly wanted to be picked up. What a shock! A baby not scared of me… And not only was she not scared, but she was all smiles. My oldest niece got back from school with her accomplishments from the day, and her homework. We spent the next half hour working on her homework. What fun. She is a sweet, and considerate little lady. She is so loving and compassionate. I watched her as she came through the door after school, her brother running to her for his hug. He really missed her. They shared a short (tender) embrace and went off to do their own things.

This was MY family. These were MY friends. These were the times that we spend our whole life working for. It is in these times that the line is blurred between blood and water. It is in these times that love shows itself in many different ways. It is in these times that I feel like life is worth living.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 at 1:06 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.