Great White North…
I am feeling a little introspective today, so forgive me. I got back from Edmonton last night and what a trip. DC to Houston to Vancouver to Kelowna to Edmonton and back in two days.
I had a great time with my mom, and I finally got to see my nieces (actually my cousins) but they are much younger than me and my uncle’s new wife Cheryl. She is really awesome. I am super impressed. The trip home is always tough given that my mom has a hard time living in the moment and always gets really sad when I leave. I can’t blame her; I get very down too, especially given that I rarely see my immediate family.
I also went back to my childhood home and I cannot believe the IDIOT that bought the property. I guess he is a welder who works up north, and he has totally neglected the house. Talk about depressing. On a lighter note, Cam’s mom and dad (my neighbors on Merrywood) who have lived in their house for the past 34 years are getting ready to move. Their house looks great. And my old street looks almost exactly the same.
For a little perspective, and to give you an idea as to how old I am now, while I was home and getting ready to go to dinner with Cam, Blake and Marty, we went to watch the Rams (my old team) vs. Northstars Bantam football game. The Rams were killing them 35 to 0 at half time. But that is not my point. A very good friend of mind from high school was there and his son was playing OLB for the Rams, and my old girlfriend’s son was the star running back. WOW! I went home and looked at all the grey in my beard again. DAMN!
I also went to lunch with an old girlfriend of mine. She is married with two kids, and had a near death experience. We talked about the “bargaining with God” angle of this circumstance. We spoke, at length, about the idea of following through on those promises. If you were lucky enough to make it out of the mire, like water, I could see how life could flow back into the cracks and crevasses and quickly cover your head. Panic… Cold… Numb… then back again to the living dead… I am speaking specifically about me and not her. I appreciate her honesty. Life is hard sometimes, and raising children (I can only imagine) is even tougher.
This past trip was very different from previous visits. My last trip there, 5 years ago, was really a letting go:
I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place
I have held the winter’s son
Become one
Set my pace
Isn’t that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passion’s died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go
Melissa Etheridge
I had the realization that Edmonton was no longer my home. Its place in my heart is now in name only. My home is now in Virginia.
This past trip was now a realization that time moves quickly. I have aged; time and people have grown and moved on. Children are now present within the homes of my friends. Blake and Cam’s children are beautiful. Liam and Anna are so sweet. I never got to see Caleb or Brooks, but I can imagine they are also beautiful. Katie and Becky have grown into beautiful young women…
I also went to see my Grandfather’s grave site. It was a strange feeling. I told my mom after visiting my Grandmother’s home and the grave site that I felt as though he was no longer there. I did not feel him in those places anymore. As I was writing this update though, and looking back over the photos I had taken, I was very sad looking at his tombstone. I really miss my grandfather, and I know my mom does as well.
Time waits for no man… Birth, Life, Death…
D